Raising children who can think independently, act maturely, and take responsibility is a major challenge for many parents. Without the right strategy, you might end up pushing them away. Before you teach your teenagers about responsibility, you first need to treat them right and build unbreakable trust. It is all about building relationships with your children. Your children will not listen to anything you tell them if you beat them up and remind them how bad they did every time they mess up. This article will walk you through effective ways to teach your children to be responsible and make better choices in their lives.
Teaching responsibility to your children requires that you be honest with them. As a parent, you need to be their role model and practice what you preach inside your home and outside of it. Children learn and evolve by absorbing habits and behaviors from their surroundings. If you don’t create an environment that encourages responsibility, your kids will never be responsible. For this reason, you need to establish rules and punishments to make sure that your kids are held responsible for their actions.
In addition, you need to make sure that inclusion is part of their daily lives. For example, have your children participate in daily chores at home and outside activities. Responsibility comes with a change of mindset and knowing that everything comes at a cost. So, instead of giving everything(money, gifts, etc) to your kids for free, have them work for it. You can easily have your children do chores for a few bucks. You also need to teach them about respect and the right treatment for others.
The challenges you will face when teaching your children to be responsible
Access to the internet at young ages is making it harder for parents to teach their children how to behave and live their lives. Kids are picking up wrong information from the internet that usually crashes with the values and behaviors parents are teaching them. Some of this information is coming from other children who are setting up rules for themselves. So, don’t be surprised when your child tells you, “You can’t tell me what to do.”
You might also be facing the challenge of raising your children as a single parent. Juggling between work and ensuring that your kids are taken care of is always challenging. You might not have enough time to spend with your children. As a result, your children will pick up habits and behavior from people they spend more time with such as their nanny, other kids, friends, etc. In order words, it will be hard for you to teach your children about responsibility because of the lack of time.
The good news is that there are still effective ways to teach your children to be responsible no matter who is influencing them or your current lifestyles.
If teaching responsibility to your children means a lot to you, this article was written with you in mind. Here, you will learn 15 effective ways to teach your children to be responsible at all times.
Without further ado, let’s get started.
1. Treat your children right and with respect
Before you teach your children to be responsible, you first need to treat them right and respect them. You need to establish a relationship that is based on trust and respect rather than fear and control. Your children will never be responsible if you don’t treat them right.
Having trust between you and your kids makes it easy to teach them about life and how to navigate through different challenges. But, if you beat up your kids and disrespect them, they will never want to learn anything from you. They might learn to stay away from you and do what you say just to not get in trouble. But, that is not what you want as a parent. What you want is to train their subconscious minds to behave and act responsibly. This process requires intentional participation from both parties.
If you respect your children and establish a strong bond, it will be easy to train them. They will follow your advice and guidance because they trust you and see value in what you tell them.
2. Become the person you want your children to be
You can’t teach your children to be responsible if you are not a responsible parent. Children copy habits and behavior from their parents. By default, the person you are will directly impact your children. If you spend money extravagantly, your kids will do the same. Why? Because they will copy your behavior.
You cannot teach them to save money and be financially responsible if what you do is the opposite. But, if you are responsible and a man/man of your word, your kids will follow in your footsteps. Do you want your children to be responsible? If so, start taking responsibility for your own actions.
Do you want your children to respect time? Start respecting time yourself. You cannot say, “we are leaving at 10:00 AM” and then be the one they are waiting for after 10:00 AM. Instead, be the first one ready to go before 10: 00 AM. If you are ready on time and before everyone else, your kids will try to be ready like you next time. Also, use this as an opportunity to teach them the benefits of being on time.
Do you want your kids to act responsibly, and respect others no matter the circumstances? Start respecting others especially when your children are watching. You cannot tell them to behave responsibly when you are bullying others in your children’s faces. The responsibility you want your kids to take will start with you. It will be hard for your children to be responsible if you are not a responsible parent. So, be the role model for your kids.
3. Set up rules and punishments
Raising your kids is not an easy task. Raising responsible children is even harder. So, to make sure that your kids grow with a responsible mindset, you need them to be aware of actions and consequences.
Teach them that for every action they take, there is always a consequence. If they take good care of themselves and make better choices, good consequences follow in a form of rewards.
Making wrong choices and messing up, on the other hand, comes with bad consequences in the form of punishments. In order for this point to get into their minds, you need to set up rules and punishments. At the end of the day, a house without rules destroys itself.
You need to set up rules and punish everyone who does not follow it. If you let your kids do the wrong things and don’t get punished for it, they will grow up thinking that they can do whatever they want and get away with it. These are not the kind of kids you want to raise.
You need them to know that if they do something wrong, they will be punished. Always make sure that they are punished for their wrongdoings. That is how you teach your teenager to be responsible. Should they choose to do something wrong? They should also be willing to take responsibility and be punished for it.
4. Practice what you preach
Being a role model is very important when you want to teach your children to be responsible. Children especially young ones don’t have fully developed habits and behaviors of their own. So, they learn from their parents and the people they hang out with the most. Everything you do and say gets transferred to your children. In order for your children to become responsible adults, they must start learning these habits at an early age. The best person to teach them these habits is you, the parent.
If you want your children to be responsible, become their role models. Always do what is right and set yourself as an example. Also, take an opportunity to let them know why it is important to do the right thing. Don’t just say, “Don’t do that.” Help your kids understand why it is important to not do it.
5. Have them participate in household chores
One way to teach your kids about responsibility is to have them participate in house chores. There is always something that can be done at home. Don’t just let your kids sit at home and play video games while you are the one cleaning their messes. They need to understand that in order to have a clean house, organized lives, and a successful mindset, they need to work for it.
Instead of cleaning their rooms, ask your kids to do the cleaning. Are your kids messy and throw things all over the place? Have them clean their messes. That is how it works. If they mess up their rooms and you clean them up, they will never understand the benefits of cleaning their rooms. In order words, they will grow up thinking that taking responsibility is not part of their lives. Why would your kids take responsibility if someone will clean after them?
An effective way to teach your children to be responsible is to list chores and assign chores for each child. Having them accomplish their chores teaches them that there is a price to pay for everything that is good. Do they want to have a clean home? They must be willing to do the cleaning.
6. Do not outcast them for wrongdoing
Taking responsibility sometimes comes with being vulnerable. Some of your children might not be ready to let their guard down and be ashamed of their actions. What you can do as a parent, is to let them know that it is okay to be vulnerable and own their mistakes. Supporting them does not mean they have done the right thing. It simply means that you are willing to give them support while they are paying the price of what they have done.
This will teach them a lesson about family values and responsibility at the same time. It will also show them that no matter what they have done, you still treat them as your children and are willing to forgive them. Once you have them in this position, it will be easy to give your children guidance on how to navigate through different life challenges.
7. Do not give your children everything they want
Having spoiled children becomes a major challenge for both parents and kids after they have grown up. Being spoiled means that your kids never take responsibility. In addition, spoiled children think that they don’t have to work hard for the things they want. Giving everything to your children robes them of the ability to work hard, think outside the box, be resilient, and build discipline. When things get tough, they crawl back into their parents’ houses for safety.
To make sure that you raise strong and responsible children, do not give them everything they want. As a parent, you can help them achieve the things they need. But, your kids(depending on their age) should learn how to work for things they want. You cannot buy expensive watches, the latest iPhone model, or Apple watches, every time your children ask for them. It does not mean they can’t have luxury items. But, if they want such expensive and unnecessary items, they must work for them.
It is also a good idea to remind your children that there is a difference between wants and needs. If they want something, have them work for it. This will teach them about financial responsibility and building good character. There is nothing wrong with wanting things. But wanting things for free is not good. You don’t want to raise children who want things without the mental capacity to work for them.
8. Do not give them free money all the time
Another way to help your children to be responsible is to stop giving them free money. Instead of handing them a $50 bill, have them work for it. This does not mean they have to do an equivalent of $50 hard work. They simply have to do something that reminds them that money is not given. Instead, money is earned and paid for in sweat.
For example, your child can ask for $50 to buy a toy. There is nothing wrong with this. What would be wrong is to hand them a credit card to buy that toy. Instead, have your children do a chore to earn that $50. If you have a car that needs to be washed, have your children wash the car and pay them $50 for the toy.
The benefit of this practice is to help your children know that money is not free and nothing in life is free. Your children will grow up knowing they can achieve whatever they want. But, they must also be responsible enough to pay the price because nothing comes for free.
9. Help them set goals and guide them in achieving them
People who are more responsible and act maturely are those who can set up goals for themselves. Goal setting and taking responsibility always go together. You cannot be responsible if you don’t have goals in your life. A person without goals is like a lone tree that sways in the direction of the wind. In other words, you are more likely influenced when you don’t have goals for yourself or a sense of direction in life.
Goals settings behavior starts at an early age. It is easy to teach your kids about goals when they are young than when they are adults. So, in order for your kids to be responsible, you need to teach them about the benefits of setting goals, help them set up goals, and give them support in achieving them( only when necessary).
Why is this important? Because they will learn how to work hard to achieve what they want. Working on their goals will help them say motivated and be disciplined enough until they have achieved what they want. Your kids will not be responsible if they don’t have something to live or aim for. They can’t work hard because they don’t have a reason to do so. Your children can’t respect others or take responsibility for bullying others if you did not teach them that being a good person is critical for success in this life.
Related: How to set up goals and execute them fast?
10. Stop thinking for your children
To be responsible, your kids will need some room to think and process their own thoughts. This is because responsibility comes with one’s ability to process their own ideas and make decisions that benefit them and others without compromising their values or hurting others.
To achieve this level of thinking, your children will need to have independent thinking. That is you need to stop thinking for your children especially when they are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. Your children might still need your guidance in making decisions. But, you should not be the one making all the decisions or influencing their decisions.
Instead of thinking for your kids and influencing their thoughts, help them learn how to think for themselves. Give them the skills they need to become problem solvers. That is how you teach your children to be responsible. If you don’t let them think right and take responsibility for their own actions, they will always assume that you are there as their savior no matter what they do. When something goes wrong, they will not take responsibility for it. Instead, they will run to you and ask for support or let you handle it. No parent wants to be in this position.
11. Do not control their lives
Irresponsible children usually come from families where parents do not care about their children or families where parents have too much influence in their children’s lives. Yes, you are responsible for raising your children until they reach the proper ages. But, too much control leaves little to no privacy and room to grow as independent children. In addition, too much control leads to broken trust between parents and children.
What your children need from you is to know that you are proud of them and you got their backs. Let them assume responsibility independently without your influence. Your kids will start acting responsibly knowing that they have been raised to be strong and able to achieve what they want. Your children can’t do that if you are controlling every movement of their lives.
As a parent putting yourself in this position means that you will always take care of them for the rest of their lives. Why? Because you never gave them a chance to be responsible, make decisions on their own, and own their mistakes. You never gave children the option to grow up and become independent adults. For this reason, they will always rely on you to make tough decisions for them and assume responsibility.
12. Reinforce their positivity
An effective way to teach your children to be responsible is to encourage them to do better and reinforce their positivity. If your kids show enthusiasm in a particular field or got some achievements, show them that you care and are proud of them. Give them the support they need and let them be part of the process.
Knowing that you are there for them, your kids will not hesitate to take responsibility for things they do. Your children will never worry about failing or being responsible for a wrongdoing because they know you will understand. It is all about building trust and using that trust to develop your children’s consciousness to do better in their lives.
13. Give your children support where they need it the most
Abandoning your children or depriving them of support does not teach them about responsibility. As a parent, you need to let your children handle some of the things by themselves but also know when to jump in and offer your support. At the end of the day, you don’t need your kids to feel forgotten or abandoned. You also don’t want them to seek help from elsewhere.
Your kids need to know that yes it is good to handle matters by themselves but also they ask for support when needed. Why? Because in this world, connection and support are very important at every level of success. Be there for them and help them make that extra step when things are getting tough.
14. Teach your children about money and personal finances
Financial responsibility is one of the biggest things parents should teach their children. There are millions of adults who cannot make proper money decisions because they were never taught how money works. Some adults think and act like they don’t have to work to get money. Others don’t know how to properly manage and budget their wages. This is because they were never taught how to be financially responsible when they were young.
When teaching your children to be responsible, do not forget the financial side of their lives. Always understand that everything in this life has something to do with money. Those who know how to properly manage their money tend to have better and happier lives. Financial stress is usually associated with the lack of basics of personal finance.
In order for your children to be responsible, teach them about money. Focus on how to make, manage, and save money. In addition, teach your children about the benefits of budgeting and how to invest and grow wealth. Furthermore, never forget to remind your kids that money itself is nothing if one does not have the mental capacity to act freely and make better decisions without the influence of money.
Related: 9 tips on how to talk to your kids about money
15. Help them build resilience
Even if you care and give support to your children, you might not be able to support them their entire lives. That is why the best way to teach your children to be responsible is to teach them about the importance of resilience. Your children need to know that they must push through every event in their lives with or without you. Without having the mental capacity to think and act independently, they might not succeed when you are not there to support them.
That is why you must help them build the mental capacity to push through difficult situations and make this habit part of their daily routines.
